In the kaleidoscopic world of music, artists often give each other gifts that transcend the ordinary. From diamond-encrusted memorabilia to handcrafted relics, these gifts can serve as mementos of friendship, symbols of admiration, or simply as hilarious pranks. But in the case of Ed Sheeran and Sam Smith, the gift of choice was a towering, six-foot marble penis statue — an offering that has since captured headlines, raised eyebrows, and evoked belly laughs across the globe.
Ed Sheeran, known for his gentle ballads and heartwarming lyrics, is a man of many layers. Beneath the image of the guitar-strumming, soft-spoken musician lies a prankster who revels in the absurd. This is no secret to those who know him well, including Elton John, who has played a pivotal role in Sheeran’s career from its early days. It was John who first introduced Sheeran to the concept of unusual, slightly inappropriate gifts, starting a tradition that would lead to this marble masterpiece.
During an appearance on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, Sheeran recounted the story behind this legendary gift in his typical self-deprecating style. “Elton John has been involved in my career from the get-go, and he buys me weird gifts,” Sheeran told Colbert, setting the stage for what would become an unforgettable tale. “Just, like, odd gifts, like sexual sort of objects.”
This penchant for peculiar presents reached its peak when Eminem gifted Elton John and his husband, David Furnish, a pair of diamond-encrusted rings — of the anatomically explicit variety — as a wedding present. The sheer audacity of the gift left an impression on Sheeran, sparking the idea to one-up the gesture with something equally bold. Enter the massive marble penis.
To Sheeran, the phallic sculpture seemed like the perfect gift for John’s 74th birthday. It was over-the-top, impractical, and utterly hilarious — all qualities that Sheeran knew would delight his longtime friend. The musician, always one to go all-in on a joke, commissioned the statue and proudly presented it to John. As Sheeran recounted, “I got this huge, flopping, droopy thing. I got a few different iterations — there was a big, erect, veiny one.”
The statue was everything Sheeran had hoped for, and more. Elton John was indeed “over the moon” about it, embracing the absurdity with the same humor that had sparked the idea in the first place. But the story didn’t end there. Once news of the gift made its way to the press, the demand for similar sculptures began to grow. Fellow musicians and celebrities started asking Sheeran if they, too, could have their own marble masterpiece.
Among those who took notice was Sam Smith. At the time, Smith was recording at a studio near where one of these infamous statues was on display. Upon seeing the colossal sculpture, Smith was struck by its absurdity and humor. Without missing a beat, they approached Sheeran with a request: “Can I have one?”
For Sheeran, the answer was simple: “What would you like?” Smith, not entirely expecting the request to be taken seriously, responded with a bold specification: “One the size of me. One that’s 6-foot-2.” And just like that, the wheels were set in motion for another monumental creation.
It wasn’t long before Sheeran had the custom statue commissioned, this time tailored to match Smith’s exact height. The resulting work of art was nothing short of breathtaking — a towering, two-ton marble sculpture that was equal parts impressive and ridiculous. When Smith finally laid eyes on the statue, they were stunned. “It’s actually wild, I thought it was a joke,” they admitted during an appearance on The Kelly Clarkson Show. “It’s a 6-foot-2 marble penis. It’s two tons, and I’m gonna have to get it craned into my house.”
The sheer logistics of owning such a sculpture quickly became apparent. As Smith pointed out, moving a two-ton marble penis isn’t exactly an easy task. The singer, known for their soulful ballads and introspective lyrics, now faced the peculiar challenge of figuring out what to do with their newfound possession. After some thought, Smith arrived at a creative solution that would transform the statue into something even more unique: “Well, I want to turn it into a fountain,” they told Clarkson. “Which I think will be hard to do.”
The idea of a marble penis fountain is undoubtedly a bold one, but in the world of pop stars, where eccentricity often reigns supreme, it’s just another day in the life of two artists who have mastered the art of blending humor with creativity. For Sheeran, the act of gifting these statues wasn’t just about the shock value — it was a testament to the friendships he’s built over the years, friendships that thrive on shared jokes, mutual respect, and a willingness to embrace the ridiculous.
As Sheeran reflected on the experience during his Late Show appearance, it was clear that the act of giving these statues had taken on a life of its own. What began as a humorous one-upmanship between friends had blossomed into a series of memorable moments that would continue to bring joy and laughter to those involved. And in a world where so much of the news cycle is dominated by negativity, the story of Ed Sheeran’s marble penis statues serves as a reminder of the power of humor to bridge gaps, create connections, and bring a little bit of levity to our lives.
But beyond the laughs, there’s something deeper at play here. In an industry that’s often criticized for its superficiality and excess, Sheeran’s antics offer a glimpse into a different side of celebrity culture — one that’s rooted in genuine camaraderie and a refusal to take oneself too seriously. The friendships that Sheeran has cultivated, whether with Elton John, Sam Smith, or others, are built on a foundation of shared experiences, mutual understanding, and the ability to find joy in the absurd.
For Sheeran, the marble penis statues are more than just gag gifts — they’re symbols of these friendships, reminders that even in the high-stakes world of music, there’s room for laughter and playfulness. And in a way, that’s what makes Sheeran such a compelling figure in the industry. He’s not afraid to be himself, to embrace his quirks, and to share those quirks with the people he cares about.
As Sheeran continues his Mathematics world tour, it’s clear that his penchant for the humorous and the absurd will remain a defining part of his personality. Whether he’s writing chart-topping ballads or commissioning giant marble statues, Sheeran approaches everything he does with the same sense of authenticity and sincerity. And in an industry that’s often obsessed with image and reputation, that’s a rare and refreshing quality.
In the end, the story of Ed Sheeran and the marble penis statues is more than just a humorous anecdote — it’s a celebration of friendship, creativity, and the enduring power of humor to bring people together. Whether or not Sam Smith’s statue ever becomes a fountain remains to be seen, but one thing is certain: this is a story that will be told, retold, and laughed about for years to come.
So, as we watch Sheeran continue to make his mark on the music world, both through his songs and his memorable gifts, we can’t help but admire the way he’s managed to stay grounded, to keep laughing, and to remind us all that sometimes, the best way to connect with others is through a shared joke, a moment of absurdity, and a six-foot marble penis.
